Look At The Stars Moon

Friends, we officially have a new entry to the canon of "things I never thought I would be writing, least of all at the head of a commentary.

Thank goodness for Coldplay.

There, it is done. But yes, thank goodness for them. According to the normal rules of engagement, an act nearly 25 years into a pretty much unbroken career should in all honesty be running out of steam, or at the very least retreating into their fanbase niche. But the desire of Chris Martin (and the other guys who rarely get a mention) to keep pushing, keep evolving their sound and keep reaching out to new and upcoming stars means that somehow the living legends have managed to remain relevant across the years and across generations. If you read past editions of this column you'll see me talk of the "digital divide" and subsequently the "streaming divide", those moments when the format of music has shifted and left legacy acts behind as their fanbase is wedded to a dying format. Yet Coldplay have been there for them all. They began in the era when we all bought CD singles, had some of their biggest hits at a time when everyone purchased MP3 files, and still now manage to appeal to the people who like to stream.

All this worship is prompted by the release of their tenth studio album Moon Music, an album which follows the previous nine to the very top of the charts. As was apparent right from the off Moon Music debuts with a suitably colossal sale, posting over 237,000 chart sales to enjoy the biggest first week for a British album since Adele's 30 debuted with 261,000 sales almost exactly three years ago. It almost goes without saying this is more than enough to outsell all the other Top 40 singles combined.

209,000 of Coldplay's numbers were paid sales, once more the biggest since the Adele album three years ago. Taylor Swift may hold 2024's record overall with a chart sale of 270,000, but of those "only" 191,000 were paid sales.

Not that Coldplay didn't have their share of streams as well, as you can probably work out from the numbers above. This means the album's two singles, previously flattering to deceive with steady but unspectacular chart runs, explode neatly into life. Lead single Feelslikeimfallinginlove rockets back to No.18, two places shy of the peak it scaled back in July. But just behind is the expensively and heavily promoted We Pray which after seven weeks around finally arrives on the bottom rung of the Top 20. So I think we can now regard it as Little Simz' first proper hit record.

Even veterans are allowed a third hit of course, Moon Music spawning a third hit in the shape of All My Love at No.43.

She's Still Here

We also thank goodness for Coldplay as otherwise this piece would be regurgitating Sabrina Carpenter stats at the very top. Instead, we get to do them a little further down the page as well. Because yes, although its consumption and chart sales continue to gently slide, there is still nothing capable of replacing Taste at the top of the Official UK Singles chart. It is there for a seventh straight week, matching the total that Espresso managed during its two runs at No.1 earlier this year.

If you have been keeping count, you will know this is now her 19th week at No.1 during 2024, meaning she has either surpassed Ed Sheeran for the most in a calendar year this century, or drawn level. This is where it gets complicated, as illustrated by the way I noted his record as 18 last week. But it kind of isn't.

In 2021 Ed Sheeran undisputedly spent 11 weeks at the top with Bad Habits, 4 more with Shivers and 2 more in December with the Elton John duet Merry Christmas. For a total of 17. His 18th came at the very end of the year when the Ladbaby track Sausage Rolls For Everyone was the Christmas No.1 on a chart dated 30th December.

The problem is Merry Christmas returned to No.1 the next week on the singles chart published on December 31st, but as per convention dated a week later as January 6th 2022. And if you see lists of No.1 singles (such as the one on Wikipedia) that list it as the first No.1 of the new year then they are perfectly entitled to depict it that way. But the problem is technically it isn't, as it was No.1 on the 52nd chart week of 2021, corresponding to both the survey period and the Official Charts' own internal database. That's also how it appears on Official Charts' own list of every No.1 single ever, which surely we have to regard as canon. And so if we want to be picky, it was Ed Sheeran's 19th week at No.1 that year. A total that Sabrina has now matched.

Back to Sabrina, and she further enjoys three simultaneous Top 5 hits for the seventh week in a row with Espresso dipping to No.4 and Please Please Please clinging on at No.5. All you will note still to the detriment of Bed Chem, No.21 on the streaming chart but due to its illustrious companions still locked out of enjoying an official chart position.

For most of the week we were staring down the barrel end of another all-static Top 5. Rescue comes from Die With A Smile which advances to a new peak of No.3. The sight of Lady Gaga, having opprobrium piled on her for "Joker: Folie A Deux", riding high in the charts by duetting on someone else's record is a gloriously ironic one.

Sail On

Looks like the negativity for The Weeknd and Playboi Carti's Timeless wasn't undeserved, last week's highest new entry plunging ten places to No.17. Its place in the Top 10 is taken instead by Gigi Perez' Sailor Song which eases up nicely to No.6. If the current big guns finally run out of steam (which they surely must do soon) then she is nicely placed to replace at least one of them, which is all rather pleasing.

Yes, There's A Bottle Of The Stuff In The Video

The last time I can remember seeing KSI he was dressed as a bottle of Prime getting legdropped at Wrestlemania 39. The last time we saw him in the charts was a month or so prior - his guest vocals on Oliver Tree's No.11 hit Voices. Now almost nine years on from his chart debut proper (it really has been that long), the YouTube gamer turned boxer turned multimedia star is back to resume one of his other careers. The British performer lands himself this week's highest new entry with Thick Of It debuting at No.14. His partner of choice on the track is another medium-term absentee - Trippie Red here with his first big hit single since his own Miss The Rage charged to an exciting No.32 in May 2012. KSI and Trippie have collaborated before - Wake Up Call made No.11 in February 2020 in an ironic herald of the world going crazy just a few weeks later.

Another nod is due to Addison Rae and Diet Pepsi, still with the necessary momentum behind it to make the Top 10. The viral track is now up to No.15 and a Top 20 single for the first time.

The Golden And Not So Golden

We began 2024 all those months ago in the throes of a nostalgia rush, Saltburn propelling mid-00s songs from its soundtrack - most notably Murder On The Dancefloor back into the charts. Well if this week is anything to go by we will round the year off in a fit of nostalgia too. For a rash of this week's 'new' entries are anything but.

We begin with the odd sight of a not yet golden oldie, Prada by Casso, RAYE and D-Block Europe which for some random reason has picked up Tik Tok traction once more. So back into the charts it goes, the remixed club track re-entering at No.34 in its highest chart placing since April and exactly one year since it was riding high in the Top 3. If that was the only unusual thing taking place at the lower end of the Top 40 that would in all honesty be more than enough. But this isn't even the half of it.

The ultimately rather tragic story of Milli Vanilli is one of the more batshit tales the music industry of the 80s had to offer. Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus were plucked from the crowd in a German nightclub (so the legend goes) by celebrated producer Frank Farian to be the frontmen of his brand new project. Their combination of rapping and singing over a house beat proved to be alarmingly popular, first across Europe in 1988 and then in America in 1989 and 1990. They topped the Billboard charts several times, their album All Or Nothing was garlanded with awards and everyone involved seemed to have come out on top.

Then it was revealed that the two men did not actually perform on the records and were lip-syncing the work of others all along. In Europe nobody really cared, we'd seen it done several times before and indeed by the same people. It was after all a fairly open secret that the male vocals on Boney M records were those of Farian himself. Nobody believed dancer Bobby was the voice on the songs. America on the other hand lost its shit over the scandal, the issue dominating headlines and causing lawyers to salivate at the prospect of a payout for misleading consumers. What didn't help were the credits on the Milli Vanilli album which explicitly stated that the vocals were performed by Rob and Fab, and on that basis lawsuits alleging fraudulent misrepresentation could be filed. Their label eventually agreed to a deal whereby purchasers could claim a refund for the "misleading" album. As a test case to prove that America is a deeply messed up place it has stood the test of time.

The reason I tell this story now? Because Milli Vanilli are back in the UK charts. It is all thanks to Netflix again, the biographical drama Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story boasting a soundtrack of late 80s vibes, all of which have caused streaming surges for the tracks featured.

So if you have come here to discover why Girl I'm Gonna Miss You is at No.40 with Blame It On The Rain at No.47, then this is the reason why. The former was the pair's biggest hit on these shores, exactly 35 years ago this week it was new to the Top 10 on the way to a No.2 peak. The latter has oddly never been a proper hit single on these shores, peaking at No.53 when first released in 1989 and No.52 when re-issued a year later in the wake of huge US chart success.

Almost from the Monsters soundtrack is Don't Dream It's Over from Crowded House, originally a No.27 hit in the summer of 1987 but a slightly bigger success when reissued seven years later when it peaked at No.25.

Mixed Fortunes

Finally, from the "shit, these solo plans just aren't working out are they" file, Little Mixer Perrie can only make No.52 with her new single You Go Your Way. The track has a fascinating video that purports to be a single take job, but it is the most interesting thing about an otherwise boring pop record - which is where the problem lies. And possibly why few people outside of die-hard fandom have cared. All eyes are instead on the next Jade single proper Fantasy, due out next week. She crept into the bottom end of the Top 100 last week with Midnight Cowboy, a track co-written with RAYE and pushed as a "promotional single" rather than a full formal release. Given it features Dr Who in a spoken cameo and a video clip which has her cavorting in a wet t-shirt in a fountain it is rather startling how much of a throwaway release this was and indeed what the point of it was supposed to be. Meanwhile Angel Of My Dreams is still not out of sight, down at No.35 this week as its impressive 12 week Top 40 run continues.

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Hits of 1988
Hits of 1989